Inefficiency for the sake of content

So I have a store meeting today. Actually right at this very moment. But wait, you say, why are you blogging with your Blackberry, Ben? Well, instead of getting right into the meeting, getting it done and moving on with life, we're gonna waste some time, money, and hours for food. Sure, it's nice to get 'free' food. And it makes everyone relaxed and happier to be there, but c'mon. It turns a serious meeting into a picnic. Let's not forget that the money that is spent on the food could be going to the employees. I wouldn't mind a couple extra dollars. Plus the man-hours that are wasted. There's at least a 100 hours that could be better spent while the store is actually open, to provide better customer service, and push profits. Not to mention the meeting could be shorter than 2 hours.
Maybe this is one of the reasons why the profit sharing check I'll be getting today will be only 8 bucks or so. I'll just shake my head and smile. It's the corporate world and I bought into it.

Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld

*Update*

The check was actually for $50. Apparently the scheme for calculating the amount is more complex than they will let on to. So we made 5% vs the 1% I was anticipating. Big whoop, a tank of gas and a number one super-sized.

Inefficenciency via inconvenience

Have you every gone to get gas, and went to lift the handle before you jammed in your credit card? Noooo! There's big warning stickers telling you to insert card first. Yes, I realize the point, pay before pumping. But if you lift the handle, god forbid, it takes 3 minutes for the cashier to reset the motherfucker so you can pay. They might even make you walk inside while they figure it out. Is it not possible to make a gas pump that let's you pay after you've lifted the handle? Not that you can pump gas, but it really shouldn't matter. They accept cash at the pump, you can even buy a carwash, but they can figure out how to make a pump that let's you buy more efficiently.

It's just like web form date parsing. The form will let you enter the date anyway you wish, even input letters, but if you use slashes (9/11/01) and it was looking for dashes (9-11-01), or a full 4-digit year... You may as well have entered Swahili. What would it be? 2 maybe 3 extra lines of code? C'mon. Get with it!

What's so hard about taking a few extra minutes during development to add these things. I'm sure thousands of hours are wasted by forcing the user to sort out the idiosyncrocies of your poor planning.

When the Saab 9000 engineers added that little flap of rubber to the trunk shelf, they knew what they were doing. Sure it probably added about 4 dollars to the price of the car. And it might add 2 minutes to the assembly time. But when the driver has to retrieve his spare tire, that little bit of rubber saves 10-20 minutes of hassle because the door to the sparetire storage is held up. No need to wrestle with it, no need to prop it open with the tire iron while you unscrew the tire retaining nut. It's all inclusive.

When you make a product more efficient from the beginning, people take note at the intended convenience.

Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld

*Update 9/22 @ 5:47pm*

Just sent this letter to Char-Meck:

To the Char-Meck Utilities:

Just noticed something when making an online payment of my water bill. When you have to enter your account number, it specifies to include the dashes. This is 2006, and there's amazing things you can do with web scripting languages, such as parse the number any way you please to insert the dash were appropriate for your data entry people to correctly read. For instance, my account number is 123456-7890123. With proper scripting, I should be able to enter 123-45-6789-0-123 or 1234567890123, and the script would pick out the unecessary dashes or add where needed. Just a little hint that would save a lot of time.

PS, you can do the same thing with dates and other form entries too!

kisses,
Ben Marvin

I Want A Litter Bag So I Can Throw It Out The Window

I was thinking today about all the money that's wasted on a daily basis. A short trip up 485 to near the Rea Rd exit is what tripped my daydream. There's one of those signs that tells you like what gas stations and food and lodging is at the next exit. So they put up this sign for the lodging, except it's completely fucking empty. Just a big blue sign that says "lodging". I wonder how much that cost. At least a couple of hundred dollars. Plus a couple hundred more to pay guys to erect it. And for nothing of any use. I bet there's enough useless signs in Charlotte that, if never put up, would've saved enough money to add another lane to half the roads in the city. Fuck congestion.

How about the $10,000 recently spent by Charlotte for advertising for an anti-litter campaign. Just advertising. They could spend half that and pay Charlotte's homeless people to clean up litter. Or save it all and use prisoners. Instead they want watchdogs to call in license plate numbers of litterbugs, so they can mail them a warning letter "to create awareness" and a free ashtray or litter bag. I totally want a free litter bag so I can put the letter inside, crumple it all up and throw it out the window. I'd keep the free ashtray.

Then there's those recent ads about DUIs and how they're gonna catch you if you drink and drive. I'll bet if you take the money spend by the government and MADD annually and put it towards taxi fares, you'd take over half the drunk driver's off the road. And that's a better rate of success than all the patrols and checkpoints combined. And you wouldn't even have to spend money on advertising. Word of mouth and internet would take care of that. If Mothers Against Drunk Driving really cared, they'd would do something for the people that drink instead of trying to do something against them. By hey, the government would never approve since they generate mega revenue from DUI arrests. Fines, classes, reinstatement fees add up really quickly. Or how about the suggestion from Neal Bortz that I recently saw in a Captain Morgan ad? Walk to a pizza place, order for delivery, then catch a ride with the delivery driver. Safe, cheap, and you got some food when you get home. Fucking genius.

Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld

Wal Mart

It seems to me that everyone hates Wal-Mart. Everytime I hear about Wal-Mart, or hear anything in the news about them, it's always negative. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying they're perfect, I'm not defending them about anything. Now, answer me this, if everyone hates Wal-Mart, then how the fuck do they get to be the largest retailer in the US, if not the world? Somebody has got to be doing the shopping there. This goes to show that the people that hate Wal-Mart are nothing more than big mouthed assholes. They are not significant. They do not represent the majority and they do not matter in the big picture of things. For one reason or another Mr Asshole decided he doesn't like a business that is way more successful than he is, so him and his limp dick decided to try to be a badass and label a corporate giant as 'evil'. Go to hell, no one cares. I like $10 pants, and I don't give a shit about Chinese labor. At least they're fucking working and keeping their mouths shut. And why is it always the motherfuckers that look like this guy on the right? Shut the fuck up, guy, everyone knows you bought that sweatshirt at Wal-Mart, even if your bracelet came from Hot Topic. Fag.

Here's your credit score

Here's what sucks about getting older: There's no more challenge to getting beer, the challenge is to kids trying to get you to buy it for them. Paying bills is no fun, it's great when you didn't have rent and such to worry about. There used to be a time, if you went to jail, they'd just call your parents and you'd get grounded. Now...you get ground in the butthole. The weekends are no longer full of parties and hanging out with friends. There's lawns to be mowed and things to fix on your car. Responsibility is a motherfucker, and she doesn't like you very much. You have to do things like vote and pay the water bill. There's folks looking up to you instead of you going to others for help. Nothing really makes things go away. More booze and more money just compound the existing problems. There's really no one you can call a friend at work. How many people you work with can you call at 2am to drive you home? How many people can you call to help you push your car down the street when the transmission goes fuckwater? I'm convinced it's all just downhill from here. There's no "over the hill". It's all just a big maze and I'm a big fucking rat.
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld

Simple Immigration Solutions

Here's some ideas for staving off illegal immigration. First off, the primary way would be just not to hire them. It may be cheap labor in the construction, landscaping, or agriculture business, but think about what it's costing you on the back end. Bilingual printed signs, translators, taxpayer funded medical benefits, uninsured drivers getting in accidents, illegals tying up the taxpayer funded court systems, the list goes on and on. So it's simple, you don't hire them, they don't make money, you refuse to help them with welfare or charity. Eventually they move on to another country, or even better, they go home.
Next, if they did happen to get a job from some liberal company, simply refuse to help them. If you're a small business owner, just refuse to deal with them. When in doubt, make them prove their citizenship. I don't accept Mexican money. Home Depot might, but I don't. Sorry vato, this store does not accept pesos.
Let's prove to our fellow citizens that we will not tolerate it. Make it known your stance on illegals. Write to your liberal newspaper and tell them. Write your congressman. Out a sticker on your car. If they can have Mexican flags hanging from their rearview mirrors, I can have a sticker that says 'America is for legal citizens only'.
Put up an American flag. If your neighbors have a Nicaruaga flag, you better have your own flag up.
Don't buy products made in Mexico. That includes pot, you stoners.

I'm Worried

I don't think people quite understand daylight savings time. Before the Simpsons came on tonight, I happened to catch the last few minutes of the news. They had a little snippet where folks from Charlotte called in to weigh their opinions on daylight savings time. Well, let me just say this, they were less than intelligent answers. Allow me to explain some things. First off, you do not lose or gain any time. The time is just switching. Next, daylight savings time does not allow you to, nor hinder you from doing anything that you would or would not do normally. It does not predict whether or not you will have a barbecue this weekend. It does not dictate if you will play with your kids when you get off work, nor does it afford any more time to you to do so; unless, of course, get off work earlier during the summer. Lastly, daylight savings time is merely a novel idea that gives you approximately the same amount of daylight during both winter and summer. Since the tilt of the Earth dictates the length of the days based on our position in orbit around the sun, we just have to do a little adjustment.

Why Girls Don't Want To Date Me. Part One.

You don't want to date me. I promise you. There is perhaps 1 or 2 girls in the entire world I could put up with. And could put up with me. I'm picky. Real picky. There's a lot I don't tolerate. I like girls that I can talk to. If I'm going to stick my penis in you, you damn well better be able to hold your own in the conversation afterward. And there's this thing I have...if you tell me something that I know not to be true, or generally just stupid..Especially in bed, I'm the nice guy and I won't call you out on it then and there. I might bring it up later. Or just hold it against you forever and not tell you. My friends are weird assholes. Andy...Unless you're his lady, he's not lady-friendly. Same with Kilbane. And everyone else. No one except my sister and Natalie has been able to consistently tolerate me and my guy-friends. No one. Period. And what it boils down to, is one of my friends will let me in on the secret that I'm dating a loon. And that's what it takes for me to realize the truth. I'm a freak in the bed. Yup. Guaranteed I'm into some weird shit and you are not into the same. It's not really the time to share, I'll tell you if you ask. But I'll just leave it at that. I'm also a freak in the bed. I have certain ways I like to sleep. I'm not a big fan of the cuddle-sleep. It ok to cuddle while I'm awake, but there is not one single position that is comfortable for me to sleep in while trying to cuddle with another person. Not one. Don't even try, ain't happening. I also have no qualms about cutting my toenails while I'm in bed. No, not to leave the clippings in bed or anything. I just like to be comfortable when I cut my toenails. It's only 2 times a month, so it's not every night... I get bored easily. This one is all too true. When it first starts out, it's great. Because I'm a freak for learning new things, and learning about people, this is when the relationship is the best. Which is perhaps true for most relationships, but whatever. Then once I start to know things, and the relationship gets to the point of leaving the bathroom door open and shit like that, I'm usually bored by then. 99% of all girls cannot keep my interest longer than a month or two. I know it sounds harsh, but it's true. Most girls are shallow. I hate to try to sound like a popous asshole, but whatever. I'm too confident. I know, sounds like a gift from heaven, but it's a curse. They say confidence is attractive, but what about so much that every girl you meet thinks you're an arrogant prick. If I'm proud of my car, I'm gonna talk about it. I love my phone, I'm going to use it. All the time. And talk about it. I may ignore you for it. Get used to it. I consider myself the man. Goes back to the old adage about aiming high, and if you hit above average you still did pretty good. I'm aiming as high as I can go. I give in to easily. I often settle for less than I'm worth. I accept things too easily. Often I commit to things with no intention of following through, just so I don't have to tell someone no. I hate telling people no. That's a major problem of mine. I want everything to go my way, but I don't want anyone to hate me for it. Everyone should love me. My dad and sister. I don't think they've ever both approved of anyone I've dated. My mom was different and mostly understanding of my motives. My brother just doesn't care. But if my family doesn't approve, then we most likely don't have a future. You have to get along with my family. Make them like you. At least fucking act like you have some interest in meeting them someday. I'm a kid at heart. I like fart jokes. I'm immature whenever I can be. I love goofing off and being stupid to the point of it annoying other people. This entertains me. I will have fun at your expense, no getting around it. I pick my nose while driving. I just don't care. About a lot of things. I'm a big fan of science and the big picture of things. I'm more concerned with what happens in the end than what happens along the way. It excites me more to think about my 401(k) than to think about what I'm working on today. I'd rather think about if you're marriage material or not rather than think about having fun on dates and just getting to know you. I will scrutinize, criticize, and tear apart every little detail of everything. People. Words. Images. I will draw conclusions based on what car you drive, the words you use, where you shop, where you work, what you want to do with your life, foods you eat, what you watch on tv....Everything. I will eat it up as raw information and parse it to no end. If you have something wrong with you, I will find it. I like my job. Too much. I'm extremely dedicated. I like to think I make a difference to my job, the company, the economy and people's lives. All this dedication drains me to no end. I spend 8+ hours a day at work. I spend 8 hours or less sleeping. That leave 4 hours Ben time, and 4 hours girlfriend time. Maybe. I don't like the whole "going out" thing. I dislike movie theaters. Dinner-out is expensive and wasteful. I like a girl that can just sit in a place like Waffle House or Caribou Coffee..and sit with me and read, drink coffee and not say a word. No uncomfortable silences. Perhaps pausing to ask each other a question or talk about something. But why do all girls feel like they need to talk about something, and if I prefer to read at the time, then I'm "neglecting" them. Whatever.

To be continued...

Gravel Is Lazy

People are needy. In lots of ways people are really needy. Whenever there is a market for a particular product or service, it implies a deficiency in that particular field. But that's not necessarily a bad thing. People buy cars because they have a need to get to other places. The need for transportation cites nothing wrong with a person per se, just a desire or need to move beyond the scope of one's feet or other means of travel. When you buy a pack of cigarettes, you buy out of desire. Nothing wrong with desire, it's human nature to desire things. But it states nothing about you lack of ability to produce cigarettes. When people buy most products, like food, clothing, etc, they purchase out of necessity for the item. It may be a deficiency in that person's ability to produce the said items, but not everyone can be a farmer. But that's just how capitalism works. Different groups are better at doing different things. And you specialize in one thing you are particularly good at, and the society as a whole benefits.

Now in the service industry, it's slightly different. Most aspects of the service industry, and the benefits provided to the patrons of these services imply a deficiency in the person themselves. If you decide you have to pay someone to serve you food, you may just be lazy, or perhaps handicapped. But ultimately, you go to McDonald's because you can't make youself food, or you don't want to. It's different for people that shop at a grocery store and cook at home. When you pay Home Depot to install your flooring, either you're too stupid to put it in yourself, don't have the time, or perhaps you're handicapped. Either way you have a personal shortcoming, to the point that you're willing to pay your hard-earned (or perhaps not) money to someone else to do it for you. When I was a kid, learned everything I know about computers myself. Through books, and trial-and-error, and just having the desire to know. These days you can go buy a computer without knowing what the hell the difference between RAM and ROM, and forever calling an Ethernet card the "internet thingy", or even not knowing how to setup your TCP/IP connection. But you can pay those folks at the store to install a new hard drive for you, fix your virus problems, and so on. It's a complete lack of care, immense laziness, and apathetic attitude that drives this system. The same goes for pretty much any other service. And business is booming. This leads me to the conclusion that society is in a breakdown mode where the inhabitants are simply unfit to live.

The rule of 80/20 states the 20% of the workers do 80% of the work. Think of an empty bucket, you put a couple of large rocks in it. It fills up most of the bucket, but there's still all that empty space left around the rocks, so you fill that up with gravel. The people that drive the economy of the service industry are the gravel. They are just filler around the bigger picture. Yet, by the numbers, there's only 100 pieces of stone in the bucket. Most people don't care where the volume is, they just want their bucket filled.

This is where I come in. I fill your bucket, you just come in and reap all the benefits of it. There's little that people care about how things get done, they just want things done. Mostly because they're lazy. For some people they think they're entitled to it. And for one reason or another, people think they have a right to treat folks in the service industry like shit. Gravel is lazy. Or perhaps it's handicapped.

Cancer Is Really Really Funny

Is it just me, or do I just not care about anything at all? Perhaps I get bored with things too easily. I like my job, but do I really, truly, honestly give a fuck about how your kitchen looks? No. No I don't. I might have cared about my car at one point, but I've let it go to shit recently. I haven't even washed her in many weeks. I'm generally not happy with my surroundings, but I just don't give a fuck enough to do anything about it. I remember when I used to be passionate about things. Now I only care enough not to get hassled. I will ignore things, and procrastinate, and produce massive amounts of indifference and apathy...And to no end. I need a passion. I need a hobby. I need a muse. I need an archenemy. There is no usefulness to my life at this point. I've decided this on my own. I don't need anyone to tell me. I know I'm awesome, but what am I awesome at? Getting email on my phone? Drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes? Flirting? Working my ass off for a company that perhaps does not care about me and does not reward me at all? Fuck. I'd rather lick rusty assholes that be the sad sack of shit that I am now. Problem is that nothing is worth it. So imagine I get a new car. Who really cares? I get a new job and make more money, so I pay off my bills. What the fuck ever. I move across the country and end up doing the same old shit I've been doing here for 30% less. Lame. Maybe I'll find some fantastic hobbies to pursue. Then I'll end up being a master on string theory with a giant cardboard box full of stamps. Holy shit, is Ben doing some soul searching? Maybe I'm just depressed. Maybe I drink too much. Maybe the dumb fucks that write checks, can't drive, embrace their stupidity and don't pay attention to detail are fucking up my life. I really just don't care about you. It's quite simple, really. But what's my endgame. If I've decided I've already won, what's the point of going on with this assdance? Well let's see, I do enjoy peeing outdoors. I like that first cigarette of the morning. I like to masturbate before I go to sleep. I enjoy driving in the rain and listening to Darude, Tiger Army or Bleeding Through. I like sleeping in. I like breakfast at 5am. I like learning things that most people just don't care to know. I like hating on Bono. I like poking fun of The Face. I like to rub my ears then smell my fingers. I like to pick my nose. I'm just bored with life. Sorry Tommy, I know it's the most exciting time, but I'm just worn out.

How'd I Get To Be So Sweet?

Dear Bono,

Here's a dildo that might satisfy your gaping asshole, you fucking AIDS day faggot. They even put a condom on it for you so you wouldn't spread your AIDS any more. So ram this up your poop chute next time you feel like singing duets with Alicia "Makin-love-to-Yoohoo" Keys. And hopefully you'll end up sitting at home ramming it into your colon with The Edge videotaping instead of speaking to anyone, anusface.

Why do people take you seriously? Are they that stupid? Are people that empty in their lives that they need some horse-toothed jackass telling them where to spend their money, and what to care about, and what not to care about? What the fuck is wrong with this picture?

Dearest Bono, I beg you, please retire. Retire to your billion dollar home, where you house no starving children. Don't bother giving up your fortune for the Hivkids. We know you don't care. We know you have dirty Sanchez sex with Michael Moore. I have more respect for the humanitarian gestures from Angelina Jolie tits than I would ever have for you, even if you donated your testicles to an incinerator (which isn't a bad idea, in case you were thinking about it). Bono, you....haha, you just make me laugh, and make my blood boil at the same time. You make me wish I was a vegetable like Christopher Reeve. You make me wish I had my head stuck up my own ass so I couldn't hear you.

So in closing, don't forget...Giant dildo in your ass, and shut the fuck up. Got it, Bono? Good.

Kisses,
Ben

WWSD? Beat your fucking ass, that's what.

So I'm walking out to the parking lot after work and I'm looking at all the cars like I do. And I see a 4Runner or some dumbshit Jap-SUV with a sticker on it that says: "What would Scooby-Do?".

I could've just shit myself.

That's so fucking clever. Omg, why didn't I think of that. That's the fucking funniest thing I've heard all fucking day. Thanks, guy-driving-that-car. You made my fucking day. To think, that sticker impacted you so much when you saw it, you said to yourself, "Hey, that sticker impacts me so much, I'm going to make it the only sticker on my car." Fucking right, you did.

Who the fuck comes up with this shit? More importantly, at the root of the issue, who buys this shit? Seriously, I should've sat outside and beat this person's head with a shopping cart. You know, the bit of petroleum that went into making that sticker would've been better spent making gas to go into my car so I can cruise for hookers on Wilkinson Blvd.

Fucking assclowns.

Checkmate, Pussy-Wussies!

Ooh, oh no, my fucking penis is going to shrivel up and crackle into a Twix bar if I don't click on that email. Just one more time, and I might wear out the forward button. I fucking hate chain mails, forwards, reposts, "A friend sent you this link" from gay ass fucking websites and fucking gay ass fucking dumb-as-shit emails that I've seen one too many times. Fuck that with a spork. I'd rather stab my own eyeballs out than read that dumb shit one more time. Be fucking original for once. What are you? A fucking pussy or something? Grow some gonads! This isn't high-school, and you don't have to impress me to get in my pants. I think a good 40% of the internet is one big fucking repost that everyone has read at least once, and that 40% needs to be deleted. I need that bandwidth. I need to download porn. And steal music, and movies. And other cool shit that pwn3z your fucking sorry ass forwarded emails. Tell me, would you rather jerk off in the same cup the rest of your life, or do you wanna go out and get your dick wet? Yeah, that's what I thought, jizz monkey.

Fucking Charlotte Cunts

Fuck this. I hate the people I work with. I hate the people that claim they want to hang out with you, then they don't even want to be your friend. What the fuck happened to folks that wanted to hang out, get drunk, and go lynch some niggers? But they were down for whatever. None of this bullshit about cops, and racism and all that shit. You where just out to have fun. Load up the pickup boys, we gonna have some fun tonight. Fuck these people that can't drive in this city. People don't know the size of their car, they don't have turn signals. They can't fucking park. Do you know what the lines on the big black area are for? Huh, fuckko? Do ya? What ever happened to good old fashioned ass beatings? Some asshole touched your car, or looked at your women, and you fucked his shit up, no question about it. And if he thought you were out of line, he'd get some boys to come visit you at work on Monday. And you'd say 'cool it fellas, we'll see you on Friday night'. And then you kicked some more ass. Fuck this shit making cars all ugly looking. The Prius might be fuel efficient, but it's butt-ugly. It looks like a fish that got farted on, then went through a jello mold, and had sex with a thousand dead chickens, fucking Richard Simmons in his third asshole cause the other two got ripped open. What the fuck? Seriously, what's wrong with these people? They need their heads knocked around with bricks, and I volunteer myself to take care of that. I got bricks. I'll smash your fucking face in so you can match your Prius. You fucking liberal scum, I hope you die when you catch the HIV from kissing the leader of the NAACP. Fucking Mfume. I think this city was started as a breeding ground for stupid people, then they added some retards in just for good measure. I hope you all fall into a sinkhole. Choke on it! Choke on your own fucking wineglass, you prissy fucking cunt. Your face is so ugly even my dick's dick wouldn't come near it. Go get high with all your fish-eatin friends. Get raped in jail. Get sawed in half by a motorcycle driven 140 mph down your street by a big black guy on PCP while you're walking your kid in a stroller down the street. I hope your kid survived and sees it all. I hope your head lands in her lap. Fucking cunts.

You Fucking Idiots.

THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS PRICE GOUGING!!!

Price gouging is impossible. I suggest you all read up on some basic laws of economics. Demand goes up (people freaking out over gas, like the folks in the picture), and supply happens to go down a little, then the price will go up. Plain and simple. As, Jason Lewis said today, "What's the price of a bottle of water in the Sahara?" It's whatever someone is willing to pay. Now, if people would be a little less greedy, perhaps the price spikes wouldn't be that high. Meanwhile, theses fools are filling up their Escalades and boats, and trucks like it's the fucking end of the world. I HOPE YOU GREEDY FOOLS CATCH ON FIRE FROM ALL THE GAS YOU HOARD.

Now, why the fuck are people complaining to the government about gas prices? They're blaming George Bush. It's not his fault, it's not his responsibility. The people that complain, should be shot in the foot. But do you want to know what George Bush is doing for you? Ready for the surprise, you whiny fucking loser.....He's asking you to buy less gas! Surprise, surprise, Mr smarty pants, it's your own fucking fault, again. But there is one thing the government could do: The EPA could permanently suspend regulations on different blends of gas for different areas. See, every city, county, town, whatever has their own required 'blend' of gas based on the EPA's regulation about their smog problem. All these different blends cost more to produce and to ship to different places. Some are particularly expensive to produce and transport. If we all used the same gas, the price would be considerably less.

I hope gas prices climb higher. Do you know what they pay in Europe? Shut the fuck up then. Move to Kuwait if you want cheap gas.

Looters should be shot in the head. However, since most of them are black, and stupid, it would be [whiny voice] "Raa-cist" to shoot them. Am I racist for calling them stupid? No, they are obviously stupid for being in the disaster area instead of evacuating. People are fucking dumb. They don't listen. They have no common sense. And they are animals.

Obligitory Holiday Post

Yeah, holidays are pretty lame. I don't care if it's a holiday I celebrate or not. I really hate it when everyone gets all weird about things just because it's a specific day. Like buying presents for people they don't like, businesses closing for no reason at all, the mail not coming, people driving stupidly, people being nice to their family when they don't like them...etc, etc. I guess that's the "holiday spirit" people keep talking about. Just do everything you wouldn't normally do and call it "holiday spirit". That just some weird stuff. Really, think about it, everything about today has just been weird. I don't like it one bit. If the holidays mean anything to anyone they would be themselves just to a more intense degree. That's what Christmas should be about to me, if I decided I celebrate it, which I don't.

Another thing that goes on: Forum boards...just chock full of silly "Merry Christmas" posts, and some fool posting the same thing back. No one cares. Trust me, they don't, so don't waste your time. Just the same way people waste money on card when they just want to feign care. And holiday visits and all that... Blah.

Now, don't you peacocks go and start calling me The Grinch or Scrooge or any of that stupidity. I'm well aware of my position on things, and I'm being a realist about it. If you claim to believe in this holiday cheer business, fine, you bought into it...live with it. If you insist on putting a label on my feelings then it would violate the very basis of what you're trying to make yourself believe therefore validating exactly what I claimed in the first place. Ergo, you bitch at me, and you prove me right. So just shut up about it. Go contemplate what horse manure means to the economy of Iowa.

Joe From Aria

Joe from Aria is such a closet liberal. He drives his econo-box Honda bcause it gets great gas mileage and it's "good for the environment". Then, he puts a wing and a fart-can on it to hide his true intent, but also to show his "freedom of expression" like art with pigs and feces is... But that's not the half of it... He borrowed my copy of Michael Moore Is A Big Fat Stupid White Man because he said he wanted to read it. I don't think so. I think he's just trying to suppress the truth and not let anyone else that wants to borrow it. And another thing...no George W sticker on his car? What is that? I think he's too embarassed in front of his liberal friends. Of course, he can't display a Kerry/Edwards sticker, that would tip of his true intent of infiltrating the vast right-wing conspiracy.
And now, he's not calling me back. I guess he's trying to lay low for a while and regroup with his liberal friends. Like Renee; I'm sure that whole fiasco was just a rouse to put me off his game. You can't fool me, Joe from Aria. I know you.
And wearing girls' pants...Probably wears girls' underwears too...That liberal, pervo, sex-crazed fool. But sure, that's just more "self-expression". See, that 52% in Mecklenburg County is the direct fault of Joe from Aria and his underhanded liberal tactics. He's the one that put up those signs. Like the one right by his house...Yeah, you can't fool me Joe from Aria. I know the truth.

Extortion And Goodwill

I don't believe in charity. Well, I don't believe in "forced" charity. This includes liberal taxes for the sake of government programs, redistribution of wealth, and the charity organizations/groups that coerce donations on the basis of making you feel bad about the less-fortunate. Charity is meant for the assistance of people based on the goodness of one's heart, not to play on emotions to empower the weak. If I work hard and I'm well off, it's extremely unfair to punish me, by trying to make me think it's my fault somehow that other people are poor. There are very few people in America today that are at a true disadvantage. the disabled and elderly can hold jobs with accommodations. The poverty-class citizens can receive education or obtain entry-level positions, and rise-up in careers. The felony-class citizen can change his attitude and set his life straight. The basis of American culture is the "I can do anything I put my mind to" type of thinking that can create CEOs from trailerpark orphans and also produce cokewhores from upper-class teenagers. All too often, the path of least resistance is chosen, and lazy, degenerate fools are created. It's when support turns into enabling. It's so much easier to fall off the ladder than to climb up it. Society today has trained people to believe one needs not do anything to survive. The sad part is, that statement is all too true. Ages ago, and in other countries today, if you don't work, in the fields, in the factories, hunt your food and build your house.... you don't survive. You will die. It's that simple. In this country today there are literally thousands and thousands of so-called "programs" that will feed, clothe, donate, and wipe your ass for you. The survivalist instinct of human nature is dwindling down to fighting over the last Tickle-Me-Elmo at Wal-Mart.

Too many people believe to solve a society-related problem, throw money at it. Schools, bad neighborhoods, crime, sexual diseases, drug abuse, etc. It's seen everyday. One cannot escape this mentality. Yet it still occurs, the problematic issue, and the shoveling of cash. All too many people would rather not dig at the roots of the problem. It's a lot easier to call out 16-digits over the phone than to ask the tough questions, to give someone a job, to help those without willpower. The problems that plague us here are twofold. There is the main issue, crime, for instance. People are criminals, there's no getting around that. It's silly to believe a society can be crime-free. But the perpetuating problem is a more serious one. When the non-caring attitude is so rampant, no one ever gets to the basis of the problems, and nothing gets solved. Nothing is ever done to effectively reduce the crime. Yet no one seems to care. It's common sense that if one approach to a problem does not solve it, you try a different approach till you reach a solution. Apparently, no one out there has any common sense.

It may make you feel "good about yourself" to mail a check for $500 every year...your good deed... But where is your money going? Will is feed someone that lost their job, send an immigrant to school, will it pay for a "consulting analyst" for a days work of doing nothing but spouting off about what he thinks is the best way to spend the next $500 coming in. Billions of dollars are given to charity organizations every year, not all of it is wisely spent. I'd venture a guess that over half of it is wasted.

If your daughter has a terminal illness and you want to further a cause to help her, don't put up billboards with her face and a caption: "I don't wanna die, mommy"... Plain and simple, it's extortion. I realize all forms of advertised could be construed as such, playing on our emotions and such, but sometimes it's too much. Don't give me statistics like "every 30 seconds, someone in Africa dies from AIDS" and "3,000 girls die from anemia"....You're not making anyone's day better, and in some cases, it's an outright lie. And, get this, I don't care. How about you stop bothering me, fly to Africa, and tell them to stop having sex. How's that for problem solving. If you really care so much, that's what you'd be doing, instead of bothering me for money for some "feel good" charity.

Government extortion of taxes is a streamlined version of this charity process. They just skip the asking part. Take money, put money into a "program". Give me a break. I'll say it again. If I want my money to go to help someone, I will spend it myself. But at least give me a choice in the matter. Charity programs should follow a free-market model. I can choose where to shop, how much I spend, and what I spend it on. Or, I can choose not to spend at all. I will buy based on value, necessity, and good faith of consumerism. I will choose what I want. No force needed.

The People Have Spoken

The election is all but over. The results are in, the concessions have been made. The people have spoken and America is headed in the right direction. My congratulations go out to President Bush. And my consolations go out to the liberals that need to do some rethinking. Obviously they are not appealing to the American public, perhaps they're not liberal enough. Of course that's not what America wants either. Let me relate a story about someone I work with. Single mother, black, in her 20's. When I told her I was voting for Bush, her disdain immediatly set in. "He cheated last election, why would you vote for him". She was a Kerry supported, and I asked why. The usual answer is, "He's not Bush". I got that and some other reasons Michael Moore would be proud of. As our political conversation progressed, I mentioned how my dad voted Libertarian. I had to explain what a Libertarian is, and what they believe. Amazingly, this previous Kerry-supporter, is telling me she is more aligned to the beliefs of a Libertarian! There is some very disheartening apathy and ignorance out there. Today we prevailed in truth, but I have fears for what lies ahead.
On the lighter side of things, I was thinking about all those people that put Kerry/Edwards signs in their front lawns (The ones that didn't get 'cleansed'). Liberals by nature are usually big supporters of environmentalism, so I thought I'd lend a hand and give some ideas for recycling all those signs. So top ten uses for Kerry/Edwards signs:

10. Litterbox liners
9. Placemats
8. Wrapping paper
7. Dropcloth
6. Kindling
5. Diapers
4. Doormat
3. Dartboard
2. Use the metal holder for back-alley abortions

And the number one use...
1. Toilet paper!

We're Putting The Band Back Together

You know, I think it's time I start pushing the Lonely And Horny vibe again. I enjoy people's reactions more than a dildo in my ass. It's very satisfying to knw people appreciate or utterly despise something you've created. That's how you know when you've made it to the big time. Apathy and indifference just prove no one cares. When there's a big bowl of emotion, it doesn't matter what's in the bowl, it's just a matter of how full it is. Now, I know there's some shittiness to my music. I'll never try to deny that. But maybe with some retooling, rerecording, etc, I'd have the album of the century on the tip of my clitoris. And then, it's only a matter of time before the gigs and girls start knocking on my backdoor. Then there's gonna be niggers like P Diddy trying to steal my shit. I will have to kill them. Then I'll record a cd from jail and be bigger than Johnny Cash, and that's big dammit. So, to all you fuckfaces that actually read this damn thing, I ask you cordially to help me out and spread the word. Anyone who wants a free cd email me. I'll give you one. If you ask nice you might get a piece of candy or a cookie too.

Now...I can bitch about work. Yeah, it sucks. We all know the routine. Talk to people that are idiots and asshole. Pick up after them like they are still in diapers. Then make barely enough money to pay your bills. Ah, the joy of capitalist freedom. But it's so great, isn't it? How the fuck am I supposed to buy new tires for my car? I can barely make the payments for the car itself. I need to start hookin' again. Err...hookin' in the first place. That's where the real megabucks are at. That's where fortunes are made, in a bedroom. It's not just hooking either. Fortunes are made when you have something no one else has, and everyone wants it. And if someone else has it, yours is far superior. That why I'd make a great hooker. Everyone desires the superior BenCock. That's all anyone wants, dammit. But, alas, I'm not for sale. I have those damn moral things to deal with instead. Yeah, it's a bitch, huh?

Next on the list.... I will kill all you damn niggers with japanese cars. You will be dead and slow. I will steal all your women too.