Top Twitter People in Charlotte, NC

Ok, here's my list of the top Twitter people/users/tweeple in Charlotte. Or #TopCLTTweeples. Or something. Sorry if I don't think that other list was good enough or whatever, you just gotta do some research. So if I forgot you, sorry, make your own fuckin list. I like lists, we need more. Alphabetically order to avoid bias. But this list is very biased. I made it. Oh, and maybe you didn't make the list because I don't know who the hell you are. Be more interesting. Tweet more. Just be an awesome motherfucker.

http://twitter.com/benmarvin - Oh, and me? I'm Ben Marvin. Alias, a hoe taming motherfucker.

1. http://twitter.com/485Sucks - This is just a personal plug for me, @cltraffic could be better at the traffic thing.
   
2. http://twitter.com/93octane - Add him, he's metal as fuck. And he likes to do those Tweetup things.
   
3. http://twitter.com/adrianadeleo - Although recently slowing activity, she's worth a follow. And she's hot, how could you say no?
   
4. http://twitter.com/amstar - Just look at the avatar. Yeah, that's real as fuck.
   
5. http://twitter.com/andybenton - Apparently he might never tweet again because of me. We'll see.
   
6. http://twitter.com/antibrad - He's got a beard! Quick go through your follow list and see how many have beards. Not enough? See, I knew it.
   
7. http://twitter.com/AshPash - Sometimes I think she's trying to be more vulgar than me.
   
8. http://twitter.com/bigfleet - Wait? He's got more followers than me? I must be doing something wrong.
   
9. http://twitter.com/blairblends - I dunno, he made @cltweather. Isn't that enough. Also, Jake's arm.
   
10. http://twitter.com/budesigns - I make his favorite list often. And I'm cool as fuck. Also, Jake's arm.
    
11. http://twitter.com/capitalfellow - Met him at some tweetups. I guess not all iPhone owners are pricks. Just the ones I haven't met.
    
12. http://twitter.com/Ceedee - I dunno who he is, but people follow him. Must have something to say.
    
13. http://twitter.com/Charlotte_SEO - Made a list of some Twitter people. I couldn't find myself.
    
14. http://twitter.com/ciordia9 - He takes pictures and jumps out of planes, maybe even at the same time, holy fuck.
    
15. http://twitter.com/cltblog - Is the only blog about Charlotte? Possibly.
    
16. http://twitter.com/cltraffic - Realtime traffic reports and user generated traffic tips.
    
17. http://twitter.com/cltweather - Way better than that @wx_charlotte or whatever it is.
    
18. http://twitter.com/dotamy - She's got some funny tweets. I think @93octane works for her.
    
19. http://twitter.com/ijablokov - Dunno who this is or what he does. I don't follow him, but 484 other motherfuckers make up for it.
    
20. http://twitter.com/ironfroggy - Man, he tweets about some technical shit. Probably way smarter than me. Kinda makes me wish I did something with my life...
    
21. http://twitter.com/jakrose - Holy shitballs, his website is like way fancier than mine. But if we made websites out of wood, instead of "designed" (whatever the fuck that means), the tables would be turned my friend.
    
22. http://twitter.com/jchristenbury - His percentage of drunk tweets might rival mine. Just a guess though.
    
23. http://twitter.com/jruckman - He does some shiv with @cltblog or something. I dunno. He's got a fuckton of followers. Join the crowd!
    
24. http://twitter.com/kateymarie - She's a Park-N-Ride girl.
    
25. http://twitter.com/KaylaC - I think she does something with the news. Yeah, yeah she does.
    
26. http://twitter.com/kjannfischer - I think she's a model and a singer or something. She looks like it. She might be cool if she ever came out to karaoke.
    
27. http://twitter.com/kittydoom - She works with gay porn or something. That's cool, right?
    
28. http://twitter.com/LinuxBlog - Holy shit, someone else in Charlotte that loves Linux? And they run a blog? Sweet.
    
29. http://twitter.com/lisahoffmann - She does marketing or something. Not sure. But she's had a funny tweet or two.
    
30. http://twitter.com/Lloylddaniels - I think the only reason he follows me is to get I-77 northbound traffic reports. I could be wrong.
    
31. http://twitter.com/Mattstewart1 - Here, just look at this tweet.
32. http://twitter.com/MCGSTUDIO - Direct Quote: "I have more than 3 tweets. I rock the Casbah". I don't even know what the fuck this Casbah thing is, but it's been rocked.
    
33. http://twitter.com/natters1210 - I have her v-card. Can I say that outloud?
    
34. http://twitter.com/nudoru - One of 2 people to send me a DM about this list. He's a corporate designer and a Flash geek. What have you done with your life?
    
35. http://twitter.com/PGHolyfield - Who is this guy? Fuck if I know, but he's got a fuckload of followers, that's gotta count for something I guess.
    
36. http://twitter.com/pixelnated - Oh yeah, I'm on his favorite's list. This guy must have an awesome sense of humor.
    
37. http://twitter.com/PoopIsComingOut - Infrequent updates, but it's worth it every time.
    
38. http://twitter.com/pussyhunter - Same as above. (I should probably mention this is one of my other accounts.)
    
39. http://twitter.com/rikcat - He's an artist. I looked at his website. That's some creepy shit. I wouldn't want that shit chasing me down a dark alley. Thank God it's just artwork.
    
40. http://twitter.com/rosebeezy - I'm not quite sure what she does, but sometimes she blows up my phone with tweets.
41. http://twitter.com/samazon - "We've made some real tight connections lately..." True story.
    
42. http://twitter.com/sbazemore - The only person to reply to my "Getting my dick wet" tweet. That's gotta count for something. (not gay)
    
43. http://twitter.com/ScottHepburn - He knows like shit about like motherfucking marketing. And if my memory serves me, he's got a really old Blackberry.
    
44. http://twitter.com/shrop - He does some technical stuff, like with computers and shit. He likes to Tweet links. I would be disappointed if I ever met him and that hair was not real.
    
45. http://twitter.com/shuntera
    
46. http://twitter.com/SupaMagg - She's got a big fuckoff water jug and she forces me to recycle.
    
47. http://twitter.com/theobserver - Jeez, do people still read newspapers? Also, JAKE'S ARM.
48. http://twitter.com/tmroggen - Looks like she's getting the hang of this Twitter thing. I mean, she did just start following that @benmarvin guy.
    
49. http://twitter.com/underoak - She works for the Observer or something.
    
50. http://twitter.com/UpsideUp - She runs a website or something. (Doesn't everybody?) Also, one time she shot up her neighbors house. Probably a gangsta.
    
51. http://twitter.com/vinnie - He works from home I think. Probably never has to wear pants. I envy this dude.
    
52. http://twitter.com/wcnc - Do people still get their news from the television? Maybe that's why the TV station is on the interwebs.
    
53. http://twitter.com/wuori - He shares a birthday with @natters1210. Also, he's got a hot sister that probably wants me.
    
54. http://twitter.com/xCaitlinx - Most active tweeter about giraffes and cupcakes.
    
55. http://twitter.com/Yagermeister333 - How many people do you know that own a space dong? None, unless you follow him.
    

And this guy made the other list? 10 follows, 10 updates? The last update a month old? Gimme a break. http://twitter.com/immi505

Suggestions? Problems? Leave a comment or @reply me. Or DM me.

Holy shit

Have you seen what they're doing to the Woodlawn/South intersection? There's a median maybe a foot or two high, and they're acid-etching these decorative flower 'tile' squares on the side. One, it's gay. Two, my taxes paid for it. The traffic was enough, now I'm pissed.

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Mini Reviews Of Charlotte Coffee Places I've Attended

Starbucks:
Malls - Stay away.
Piedmont/Southpark - Poor GSM reception.
Pineville - Catholic school kids, traffic sucks. And it's skanky.
Costwold - Shoved in a breezway, but it's convenient.

Caribou:
Foxcroft - Trifflin'. And poor cell reception.
Carmel - Nice view of the street. 2 entrance doors.
Rea/Colony - Better view of the street.
Sardis - Easy to get lost in the parking lot. 2 entrance doors is nice.
East Blvd - Too many gays, but the wifi and porch is nice.
S. Tryon/485 - Worst parking, ever.

Dilworth Coffee:
Any - Free wifi. Old coffee shop feel.

Coffeeworks:
Arboretum - Free wifi, nice and cozy.

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You drive a Land Rover

That's right, fatty. Use some Sweet-N-Low in your coffee instead of sugar. You must really believe the hype to consume that nasty shit. Be a pussy and get half decaf. Maybe you'll live for an extra minute. Live on your toes. You never know when a terrorist might kill you. Yeah, more likely a car crash since you're probably a bad driver. How did you survive for this long? That's right, we made it too easy for you. I gave up the good jobs so "equal opportunity" would give them to you. There's warning labels on everything with instructions in 20 different languages. What were we thinking? Have some more Splenda.
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Cheap drinks in Charlotte

Also a fair indicator of where to find me if I'm out and about. Feel free to link to this page and I'll try to keep it updated and add to it. Of course, if you have any thing to add, please email me, or add it as a comment.

Monday:
Phó Real - $3 Martinis

Brixx - $1.50 Domestics

Tuesday:
Brick & Barrel - $1 Domestics
Buckhead Saloon - $1 PBR

Wednesday:
Buckhead Saloon - $1 Domestics
The Press Box - $1 PBR
Boardwalk Billy's - $1 Domestics
Quaker Steak & Lube - $1 Domestics
Phil & Tony's - $1 Domestic bottles, $2 Jello shots

Thursday:
Phó Real - $1 Domestics
Jackalope's (karaoke night!)- $1.50 PBR nightly
Stool Pigeons (downtown) - $3 Martinis

Friday:
Gourmet Chicken, Asian Bistro - $1 Beer every night
Vinnie's Raw Bar - $1 Beer every night

Moe's Southwest Grill - $1 Beers

Saturday:
Providence Sundries - $1 Beer special
Jackalope's (karaoke night!)- $1.50 PBR nightly

Sunday:
Tipsey's McStumbles - $5 Pitchers
The Money - $1 PBR nightly

The jackoffs in Charlotte

So I'm leaving work today, and headed east on Woodlawn. And since they're doing construction on South blvd, it was down to one lane for those headed northbound. As the turn light goes green, traffic procedes as normal, then yellow, traffic still going. After the light turns red though, FIVE motherfuckers continue throught the light. I know they knew it was red. These people just don't care. Of course there's no cop to be found to pull them over. They're too busy shooting cell phone workers and such. And the pussyfarts waiting to go straight on Woodlawn westbound didn't seem to care either. When that happens to me, I'm the first to lay on the horn and verbally chastise the redlight runners. Fuck them. I may speed 5 mph over, or cross the double yellow to catch a turn light, but I never blatently run lights like that. That's just too niggerish for me.

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Fucking Charlotte Cunts

Fuck this. I hate the people I work with. I hate the people that claim they want to hang out with you, then they don't even want to be your friend. What the fuck happened to folks that wanted to hang out, get drunk, and go lynch some niggers? But they were down for whatever. None of this bullshit about cops, and racism and all that shit. You where just out to have fun. Load up the pickup boys, we gonna have some fun tonight. Fuck these people that can't drive in this city. People don't know the size of their car, they don't have turn signals. They can't fucking park. Do you know what the lines on the big black area are for? Huh, fuckko? Do ya? What ever happened to good old fashioned ass beatings? Some asshole touched your car, or looked at your women, and you fucked his shit up, no question about it. And if he thought you were out of line, he'd get some boys to come visit you at work on Monday. And you'd say 'cool it fellas, we'll see you on Friday night'. And then you kicked some more ass. Fuck this shit making cars all ugly looking. The Prius might be fuel efficient, but it's butt-ugly. It looks like a fish that got farted on, then went through a jello mold, and had sex with a thousand dead chickens, fucking Richard Simmons in his third asshole cause the other two got ripped open. What the fuck? Seriously, what's wrong with these people? They need their heads knocked around with bricks, and I volunteer myself to take care of that. I got bricks. I'll smash your fucking face in so you can match your Prius. You fucking liberal scum, I hope you die when you catch the HIV from kissing the leader of the NAACP. Fucking Mfume. I think this city was started as a breeding ground for stupid people, then they added some retards in just for good measure. I hope you all fall into a sinkhole. Choke on it! Choke on your own fucking wineglass, you prissy fucking cunt. Your face is so ugly even my dick's dick wouldn't come near it. Go get high with all your fish-eatin friends. Get raped in jail. Get sawed in half by a motorcycle driven 140 mph down your street by a big black guy on PCP while you're walking your kid in a stroller down the street. I hope your kid survived and sees it all. I hope your head lands in her lap. Fucking cunts.

Drivers

Why are drivers in Charlotte such assholes? Are they trying to be assholes? Undoubtedly, some of them are. Maybe they just don't know any better and have their heads up their asses about a lot of things. Signals, mirror, use your fucking head....Fuck. Maybe they think they're doing the right thing. Maybe they're driving the only way they know how and think it's the way things should be. I'm going to start being a real asshole about things. I'm going to honk my horn everytime someone fails to signal. Or cuts me off. Or does any number of idiotic things. Shame is they probably won't realize what they did. Then comment to their friend on their cell phone how some random asshole is honking at them for no reason. Then they will get hit by a garbage truck because they weren't paying attention and I will witness it all. I will laugh...and drive away. Signalling first, of course.