Lonely And Horny, On The Web Again!

Introducing the launch of http://www.myspace.com/lonelyandhorny
I know it's not anywhere near complete, but it's there. Get the word out. Enjoy the songs, comment, add us. And look for more stuff to be added soon.

If You Have My CD...

You know you might have a Lonely And Horny CD. And you're thinking "Hey, this CD sucks, what the fuck am I supposed to do with it when I'm not listening to it?"....

Well, I'm here to help. Follow the instructions closely, or your genitals will fall off.

Instructions:
Step Zero: Take your Lonely And Horny CD out of your glovebox, junk drawer, or safety deposit box. It's about to be cool again. (like Huey Lewis And The News!)
Step Uno: Go over to your CD rack, shelf, pile, whatever you have.
Step Deux: Find your U2 CD.
Step Deux And Heif: Put the U2 CD, liner notes and back cover in the litter box. And let your cat shit on it.
Step III: Print out the "Lonely And Horny" CD cover. Now available on this site!
Step 4x4: Put your Lonely And Horny CD and smashingly sexy cover artwork in the newly emptied CD case.
Step Pentagon: Fantasize about the band. Focus on their packages. Masturbate if needed.
Step Sexo: Write me a thank you letter for all the booty you snag because you played this CD in the car on the way home from the club.

Here's the cover, bitches:

We're Putting The Band Back Together

You know, I think it's time I start pushing the Lonely And Horny vibe again. I enjoy people's reactions more than a dildo in my ass. It's very satisfying to knw people appreciate or utterly despise something you've created. That's how you know when you've made it to the big time. Apathy and indifference just prove no one cares. When there's a big bowl of emotion, it doesn't matter what's in the bowl, it's just a matter of how full it is. Now, I know there's some shittiness to my music. I'll never try to deny that. But maybe with some retooling, rerecording, etc, I'd have the album of the century on the tip of my clitoris. And then, it's only a matter of time before the gigs and girls start knocking on my backdoor. Then there's gonna be niggers like P Diddy trying to steal my shit. I will have to kill them. Then I'll record a cd from jail and be bigger than Johnny Cash, and that's big dammit. So, to all you fuckfaces that actually read this damn thing, I ask you cordially to help me out and spread the word. Anyone who wants a free cd email me. I'll give you one. If you ask nice you might get a piece of candy or a cookie too.

Now...I can bitch about work. Yeah, it sucks. We all know the routine. Talk to people that are idiots and asshole. Pick up after them like they are still in diapers. Then make barely enough money to pay your bills. Ah, the joy of capitalist freedom. But it's so great, isn't it? How the fuck am I supposed to buy new tires for my car? I can barely make the payments for the car itself. I need to start hookin' again. Err...hookin' in the first place. That's where the real megabucks are at. That's where fortunes are made, in a bedroom. It's not just hooking either. Fortunes are made when you have something no one else has, and everyone wants it. And if someone else has it, yours is far superior. That why I'd make a great hooker. Everyone desires the superior BenCock. That's all anyone wants, dammit. But, alas, I'm not for sale. I have those damn moral things to deal with instead. Yeah, it's a bitch, huh?

Next on the list.... I will kill all you damn niggers with japanese cars. You will be dead and slow. I will steal all your women too.