Monday, September 27, 2004

Orange Hell

Ya know, Garden Ridge sucks my ass. It's the most boring job ever. The hardest part is trying to look busy. I'm underpaid and underworked. I feel useless at the end of the night. I work with idiots, high-schoolers, and burnouts. Oh, and the customers... fuck to widening my asshole. I hate people. People are assholes. Just have them go shopping and watch everything they do. They pick up shit and put it where it doesn't go. They mess up displays. They break shit. The leave shit on the floor. Their kids break shit. They expect me to know the most obscure things. "Um, do you work here? Do you have this like thingy that they had at the other store that they sold out of, it's like a purse basket thing that opens and closes and it's got beads on it....." What the fuck are you thinking, lady? Seriously. Someday, these motherfuckers are gonna be surprised at my answers.
So there I am in the furniture department. And these two fatties ask me if we have any lawn furniture (a summer only item). I told them no. Then they looked 2 feet to their right and saw these folding 'sports chairs' that they said would be perfect. Then they ask me if the chair will "hold a fat girl." I was this close from checking the packaging for a weight rating for the chair, then asking how much they each weighed. But my better judgement and desperate need of $6.50 an hour persuaded me to refrain. I told them yes and ran off to pick up more fucking bean-bags... I need a new fucking job already. Any offers out there. I have experience with idiot-handling.

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