Some Offensive Jokes I Had Not Heard Before Today.

This woman is getting raped in an alley and she looks at her attacker and cries "What could have happened to you as a child to turn you into the monster you are today?" And the rapist replies, "Oh, it's not good enough that I fuck you, I gotta tell you my life story, too?"

What's the difference between a dead baby and a dead pig? You don't fuck a dead pig before you eat it.

What's the difference between an underage girl and a washing machine? A washing machine doesn't follow you around for months after you dump a load in it.

If the Flinstones were black, what would the show be called? The niggers, of course.

The Four Shortest Books Ever Written: 1 - Polish Wit & Wisdom. 2 - French War Heroes. 3 - Jewish Business Ethics. 4 - Negroes I Have Met While Yachting.

A rapist attacks a woman and holds a knife to her throat, whips it out and tells her, "Bitch, I'm gonna fuck you just like your father." And she tells him "No you're not. My father's dick was bigger."

A kid is at the grand canyon with his parents and they fall from the edge and die. He starts screaming "MOMMY!! DADDY!!" He is only seven and is screaming in fear and confusion when his cries attract the attention of an elderly gentleman who comes running. "Little boy!! What's wrong?" "MOMMY!! DADDY!!" The man looks over the railing and sees their crumpled bloody bodies at the bottom. "My God! That's terrible!" "MOMMY!! DADDY!!" The kid continues to cry, tears running down his face. The man asks him "Where are your brothers or sisters?" The kid can only shake his head no and continue to cry. "You're all alone up here?" He nods yes. And as the old man unzips his pants he says "Fuck, kid. It just ain't your lucky day, is it?"

Q: What kind of sound does a baby make when you put it in the blender?
A: I don't remember, I was too busy jacking off.

Stolen from a Myspace bulletin