And Remember, Thieves Don't Carry Torx Keys!

Carrie's tag got stolen tonight. So if you see her tag, and it's not on this gorgeous piece of Korean machinery, run the car off the road. Then call the cops. I have donated two of my license plate screws and a piece of cardboard to suffice till a replacement can be realized. Hopefully no one will steal the cardboard, but they'll never get the screws. Them shits is on lockdown. Torx, baby. Leave it to those European engineers to fool simple American thieves.

When I was a teenager, masturbation was enough to keep me occupied. Now the kids gotta be stealing tags from my art-school girlfriend. Shame. Kids need to masturbate more, it'd be better for the whole country. Less fights in school and shit.