You drive a Land Rover

That's right, fatty. Use some Sweet-N-Low in your coffee instead of sugar. You must really believe the hype to consume that nasty shit. Be a pussy and get half decaf. Maybe you'll live for an extra minute. Live on your toes. You never know when a terrorist might kill you. Yeah, more likely a car crash since you're probably a bad driver. How did you survive for this long? That's right, we made it too easy for you. I gave up the good jobs so "equal opportunity" would give them to you. There's warning labels on everything with instructions in 20 different languages. What were we thinking? Have some more Splenda.
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile