Feeling depressed?

Here's a quick pick-me-up. And it only takes a week for it to work.
Here's what you do: Switch to the cheap sandpaper toilet paper for a week. Then get the softest, tickest most expensive toilet paper you can buy. Hell, use those ugly satin curtains that your exgirlfriend left at your apartment. Once you wipe your ass with sandpaper for a week, anything else seems so luxurious. Go ahead, spoil yourself. You deserve it. There, don't you feel better?

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