An Answer For You

When ever someone you know commits suicide, the natural feeling is to be sad, depressed, whatever. We're humans, it's natural. Death is one of the things seemingly none of us can get used to. Now, then next feeling that rears its ugly little head is blame. "Did I do something to push this person over the edge?" You start blaming yourself. You want to take back all those nasty things you said. It's a weakness. You are weak. You are weak for thinking that you somehow caused this death. You think it's unnecessary. You think there's something you could have done. You think that it was your obligation to help this person. The humanitarian instinct has been pounded into your head by Bono, the UN, and others since you were young. Yet they still teach survival of the fittest in science classes. We're all animals, so start learning to survive like one.

The next feeling is one that most people don't experience. You feel sorrow for yourself. This is because you know that you associated with this person, you were friends with them, you dated them, were married to them, were a family member, a co-worker, whatever the relationship. You were a part of this person's life. Perhaps they trusted you, perhaps you trusted them. And they just couldn't stand to live anymore. It's because they were weak. You invested parts of your life into such a low-level weakness. You trusted a person that can't even handle their own life, yet you relinquished part of yours. This makes you inherently weak. Your judgment is off. Your perception of people is too trusting. You have not defense. You cannot realize the differences between common and extraordinary. This person was common. They didn't deserve to be a part of your life in the first place. You gave them a priveledge and they fucked it up.

Look at it as they're doing you a favor. The only reason you feel bad is because you investing in a losing proposion. When a day-trader buys a stock, only to watch it plummet for the rest of the day, his heart falls. His profits fall. He is forced to sell. Forced to accept a loss. But as time passes, it becomes a learning experience. It is another page in the journal of life. Another lesson learned to pass on to the next generation of day-traders. You live, and you learn. You move on. This experience will teach you who to trust, where to put your investments, and who to believe in. The object of the game is to be strong and to stay on top. It is not in your best interest to dwell on the past, relive you mistakes, or to pass on false information.

I know you were looking for an answer. Be strong, vixen.