Monday, November 28, 2005

Junkie Whores

So I'm sitting here at home, trying to decide which is worse, a junkie or a whore. Here are some argument points I came up with:

  • Both lifestyles normally lead to eventual death, and I'm not sure if a drug overdose or the Hiv is worse. Probably the Hiv. Or getting beat to death with a rusty, hot coat hanger.
  • Junkies are entirely useless except to their dealer, they don't work. At least the hooker provides a service and makes some money. Sorta even like a small business owner.
  • Hookers are less likely to hit you over the head with a brick for you wallet. Unless you try and put it up their ass without asking. Then you've got fake nails and high heels attacking you.
  • If you're on heroin, it could be argued, that you're draining the economy (sending money into South America and Pakistan). But if you're a hooker, you're keeping money in the good old USA.
  • Army surplus jacket that smells like shit or lingerie, I think hookers got the better uniform.
  • When you're using heroin, you're just being a rock star, like GG Allin or Kurt Cobain.
  • Whores like to show off their goods, hanging their cho-chas out in the wind, and let everyone know what they're up to. Junkies usually hide it and spend most of their time passed out on a pissed on mattress in some abandon house.
  • Neither junkies, nor hookers pay taxes.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

"Sorta even like a small business owner." *laughs*
Both are worthless, and should go live in a concentration camp with the illegal aliens.

. said...

I've never seen a hot hooker. Or even a hot junkie for that matter...maybe I should visit europe. I bet they have both there.

j merlino said...

aren't a lot of hookers junkies ?

bex said...

hmmm... dont work or nothing.

Sydney said...

They pay taxes in Nevada.

I think they should legalize drugs and prostitution and tax them both.

Umm... Why is the rust coat hanger hot? Just curious...

p.s. I guy I knew put a telephone up a hooker's ass, well, technically that's wrong. He put it up her cootch. But he didn't take photos so it doesn't really count except as a good story. Ok, its a good story when he tells it. See, there were these two hookers... Nevermind.

Ben Marvin said...

I can top that. I know this woman that put my friend's phone up her cooch, on vibrate and then he called it. While she was just sitting there, like nothing happened.

Natalie said...

Junkies keep drugs out of kids.

Sydney said...

I was talking federal there...

Sydney said...

I meant, they can actually report their income in some places there since its legal and all, so they can the IRS - and I like that better. If you're going to do it, I want you paying the IRS like everyone else AND into the social security system. Cause I'm getting closer to needing it every day. That's why I'm all for legalizing it everywhere. Plus, it would cut down on all the diseases that guys bring home to their unsuspecting spouses etc. because they have testing in place there.

Ben Marvin said...

1. I think the tax issue of the hooker/junkie debate carries the smallest of consequence.

2. Why would anyone in their right mind even think about social security being any benefit at all? Whatever happened to folk using common sense and investing in 401k's, IRA's and other retirement packages? I'm already planning for my retirement. Partly because I'm smart, partly because I feel like an old man already.

3. If a spouse catches a disease from her husband because he went to a skanky hooker she deserves it because:
a) She married an asshole.
b) She doesn't know he goes to hookers.
c) She's not keeping him happy.
d) That's the way the world works. Suck it up crybabies.