Volvos, Pets, And Being Immature

I feel like I do when I think about my Volvo. When I think about past pets. When I think about my hometown. Truth is, I miss Carrie. I don't know how she feels about me right now, but I feel like the biggest asshole in the world. Shitting on everyone for no reason. I've done what I hate. Chasing something shiny and throwing away a lot of hard work. Damn dude, I miss her already. So much. Normally it takes me years to look back and regret things, but the past 13 days have done a number on me. I miss the way things where. Good and bad. I miss having something familiar. I miss our shared dreams and the fun times past. I'm sure she's moved on. There's guys just lining up. Why would anyone in their right mind want anything to do with me after the asshole things I've done. All I can do is hope she might still be as retarded for me as I am for her.

Wow, I feel like a 14-year old girl.

I miss someone as smart as me. I hate dumb girls. I hate hippies. I hate people without goals and responsibility. Why the fuck would I chase that? What is wrong with me? I need my compliment, not a perfect match. I belong with my rival and worthy opponent, not an overly-obsessive best friend. I gotta stop being so immature about things, and think about what I've always wanted for the rest of my life. Utter devotion and interest. Why the fuck would I ask for something different? Someone that stuck by me through a lot of shit and cares about my well-being. Someone that knows what I like and isn't afraid to give it. Someone to call me out on my shit and keep me on my toes...Not just adore everything I do: good, bad, weird and everything in between....

I feel like such a 14-year old emo girl. But remember, real emo kids kill themselves.